Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I have faith of the heart, strength of the soul & can reach any star...

Only moments old...
Eight years ago at this exact time, I gave birth my to my gorgeous baby girl...

My labor began late at night, or rather, early in the morning just around one. The birth pangs pulled gently at first and I remember thinking... I remember this now.

I simply allowed the early rushes to run through me, and let them run their course. This was my last time to be totally alone with my baby... to have her to myself. I sat and rocked with her still deep in my belly in the near dark. Quietly alone.

As my labor began to change, I began humming my birth mantra. Bits from a song from a television show. Star Trek: Enterprise to be exact. A song widely considered to be incredibly cheesy. But no matter, the lyrics simply worked for me and thus I claimed them as my own...

It's been a long road
getting from here to there
It's been a long time,
but my time is finally here
And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No, they're not gonna hold me down...

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything...
I have strength of the soul,
No one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith...
I've got faith, faith of the heart...

All through my labor I sang this silently to myself. I toned. I moved. I stayed still. I did exactly what my body needed to do to birth my daughter. I pushed her out, gathered her up in my arms with the help of my midwife and husband and pulled her up to my chest.

Warm.
Sticky.
Wet.
Perfect...

I sat in my birth bubble and noticed nothing outside of it. I discovered for myself that she was a girl by uncovering her and admiring her lovely, sweet little body. We cuddled for what seemed like hours and I felt the natural high that only natural childbirth feels like. I was a birthing goddess and birthed my daughter in the dawn of the day. As I held her in my arms for the first time, snow fell silently outside. It was a perfect moment, frozen in time and etched forever into my memory.

Now that nine and a half pound baby is eight years old. While sometimes I miss the baby and wonder where she went, I remind myself to enjoy this stage of motherhood. She's artistic and self-assured. She corrects me every time she has the chance. She loves to practice hand-writing and loves to read. She loves her Beaver Colony and sings in the choir. She wants to do everything. And I couldn't be more proud of her.

My husband gave me two silver rings made by Delias Thompson last year. One reads: faith of the heart and the other: strength of the soul. They have been my mantra everyday for eight years. For Mother's Day, I think I will gift myself with a third: I can reach any star...

Happy Birth Day my sweet girl!

Tell me about your birth song,

4 comments:

  1. This post made me cry. How sweet and yet so powerful. I didn't have a song, but I believe I had both faith of the heart and strength of the soul. And you have a very wonderful husband. Shall I email you Logan's birth story? It's too long for here. And sadly, I haven't finished writing Lydia's birth story, and now I'm afraid I've forgotten it all . . .

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  2. Thanks so much for your comment, Laura! It made me cry when I was writing it, too. Birth - no matter how it unfolds has this kind of amazing power in memory doesn't it? I'd love to read Logan's birth story! Yes, email it to me - and if you're interested I'd love to post it here on the blog, too - just let me know.

    And if you want to write Lydia's story, just sit and think about it... the most important things are what you remember - the details aren't as important nor what you forgot! Write it down anyway. It's your birth and your memory of what happened and that's the important part - besides when you sit and think about it, you'll remember details you probably thought you'd forgotten!

    Take care!

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  3. I love that song.. (big Trekkie here). Lovely post. Makes me want to have another child...

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  4. My friend,

    what a great post. made me think of the day melanie and I with your amazing assistance welcomed our girl into the world.

    Happy Birth day to your girl

    ReplyDelete

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